Wow, I suck. I just got told so. But in much nicer terms. Ive been begging people to edit and crtique my proposal and sample work on the women's book. Finally someone helps me out. She tore it to shreds and called me a dumbass in a really nice way.
I dont feel like a dumbass even though I obviously should. I feel empowered. I feel enlightened. I believe I can go at least one more round with the writing demon. Maybe two.
So, I'll go back and do all these rewrites and see if it looks any better.
One thing bothers me though. She said that my writing is weak and I cant tell either my story or the womens with any conviction. I FEEL convicted. I love what I do so why isnt it coming through in my writing? What am I doing wrong or not doing?
This book began in 2002 and was going to be similar to what Jennifer Furio did with The Serial Killer Letters.
But over the years I've gotten so much conflicting advice from writers, agents, editors etc. the book has morphed and changed into something different.
It certainly isnt what I set out to do and I feel like it may change still. More and more of my own life is leaking through and I dint really want it to be a memoir. I just wanted people to understand why I care about these women.
Why isnt it coming out in my writing? Do I really suck?