I have always been fascinated with killers, murderers and evil people. Some people believe those of us who have this fascination have had traumatic events in our childhood. While I wont dispute that theory all together I will say that it isn't the whole truth. There are other factors. These are man-made monsters not a mishap of nature.
If your familiar with me and my work you know that I concentrate on women who kill. I wont say I hold this fascination ONLY because of traumatic events in my childhood but I do know that it plays a large part in it.
I watched my mother go through my childhood badly beaten and in and out of hospitals and homeless shelters running from my abusive father. She would always return to him. i saw this as weak and pathetic as a kid and teen but i also sensed her great strength. I don't know why she returned after each beating but i know that if anyone had reason to snap and kill someone she did. Though she never did i always half expected it. Waited for it... even hoped for it.
Growing up I shared some of her beatings and toted around my own mental abuse. I put myself in some insane situations simply looking for a way out and it was the only way I knew how to live. When I began to get involved with death row women and researched their cases and lives I could always find something I had in common with them. I could always see myself so clearly in their situations and sympathised with them. I know why some of these women killed their husbands, I know why some snapped and tried to change their whole existence. I know the places their mind went when the shit started to hit the fan.
Sometimes even when you know better your mind tells you differently and for a moment you feel like you have the answer.
I wrote this article some years back on why some women kill their children.