I don't write men. As a rule they have always been much more evasive and agenda prone than women. However, I was researching a few months ago and came across a victims family statement from a fellow in Alaska, Joshua Alan Wade, who had murdered two women.
The more I read into his case the more interested I got. He has been labeled the most notorious killer Alaska has ever seen (although there has been much news lately about a ex-stripper who most likely killed one of her boyfriends.)
His statement made an impact on me because it seemed so heartfelt. I started looking further into his crime and learned about how he has been on his own since he was a young teen, fending for himself in the murderous temperatures of Alaska.
I wrote to him and he did write back. He seems very open and honest, discussing some of his criminal activity and expressing remorse. He was given a 99 year sentence to escape the death penalty and required to admit guilt to a crime he had been previously found not guilty for.
Looking at his early court appearances he will definitely give you the creeps. His eyes and his face are so full of rage and fury but little snippets of sorrow and regret sneak through. He seems deathly afraid of letting anyone know he has a heart.
During his sentencing hearing the judge called him a coward for preying on women. He immediately exploded and told the judge to "watch it man" and spurted out "what about the men I've killed?". Later Alaskan TV station 11 conducted an interview with him where he was asked what he meant by that. He didn't admit to more murders but instead said, "I think everyone knows Ive done some pretty heinous crap out there." The last statement in that interview was the question of if he was afraid to die. He said he didn't want to but wasn't afraid to.
I'm not really sure what interests me in this case so much. There are most definitely worse killers but his mixture of true remorse and unmitigated fury is fascinating.