Skip to main content

Wives Outside the Walls

So many women contact me each month asking about support groups they can join. There are tons online, I know of several on Cafemom and I imagine that any moms social community would have at least a small group of moms with a jailed loved one.

But WIVES- wives are another story. Women are often thought of a stupid, irrational and dependent if they are married to or have a relationship with a man who is in jail or prison. This is pretty surprising since more than 500,000 marriages in America have endured one spouse or the other serving a jail sentence.

Sadly, wives get little or no rights to their husbands who are incarcerated other than basic communicative and visitation rights and occasionally conjugal visits but that all depends on the state. And that’s about it.
Marrying an inmate was illegal until 1989. Since then slews of inmates search for women who are willing to marry someone who has a long term to serve or may never get out. Getting married doesn't give them any privileges, save conjugal visits in the states their permitted in.

This is from an Ehow article on the rights of prison wives:
No issue arouses more controversy than conjugal visiting rights, which allow inmate and spouse some time together. Only seven states allow the privilege, led by California, New York and Mississippi, whose prison system became the first one to implement the practice in 1918.

Initially, the visits were offered as an incentive for African-Americans to work hard in the cotton fields at the notorious Parchman farm, according to "Conjugal Visitations," a paper presented on the subject. White inmates were eventually allowed the same privileges during the 1940s. Like all other aspects of prison life, conjugal visits are subject to official approval, based on the inmate's behavioral record, demeanor and other factors. Read more here.

Truthfully wives of inmates have no special rights. They cant visit or call any more often than other family or friends. They aren't even afforded a special phone call rate. Calls from correctional facilities are jacked up so incredibly high I cant figure out how this isn't a national scandal by now. It is purely a situation of phone companies raping the innocent bystander just because they want to talk to a person who is jailed.


  1. Anonymous2:55 PM

    I would love this article, if it wasn't titles Prison Wives. I do not identify myself with that title. I am a woman, who is married to a man, that happens to be in prison. I am not married to the prison. On the inside of the walls, a " prison wife" is an inmate that has been turned out, and performs sexual favors to an inmate. My husband and I have a marriage like any other marriage, We are just separated by walls right now. The prison does not define who I am as a person, or who we are as a couple. We have enough stigma and titles given to us by those who dint understand. I refuse to help them.

  2. Well I changed the title! I hope that helps and thanks.

  3. The terrible misnomer of the prison system in administering inflated prices for commissary and phone priviledges is that the inmate is paying the price! In all reality, it is the family that pays the price. Why should families be forced to pay the price for the crimes committed? Isn't locking the person found guilty of the crime up enough? Why make the families pay twice?
    The system takes advantage of this situation monetarily, how is that any different than extortion?!


Post a Comment

What Are Your Thoughts? Remember, you don't have to read this blog if it makes you mad. Name-calling and temper tantrums have no place here.

Popular posts from this blog

Brenda Andrew Execution date

Brenda Andrew is the only woman on Oklahoma death row. She is there for the murder of her husband by her and her boyfriend James Pavatt.

     Brenda does not answer letters. It seems she may still have a bit of that pretentious attitude left over from her days as a respected deacons wife. Those days are over, hun.

     There is no scheduled execution date for Brenda yet. Oklahoma lists its dates of execution for the prison she is in here.

     Every time I read about this case I am utterly amazed at how stupid these two people were. She may as well have advertised their guilt on a billboard in front of the house. Both Andrew's and Pavatt's appeal were systematically denied without comment in 2008.

The little Scorned episode "The Sunday School Killers" at the top of this post is about Brenda and James and its only $1.99 so its worth the money.

AppearanceWhite Female; 5 ft. 3 in. tall; 110 pounds; Brown hair; Brown eyes; Body MarksABD: SCAR C LOW 4" c sectio…

Morgan Smith Florida

Morgan Smith. Wow. Just, wow. She came from a family of mental illnesses with a father who committed suicide. She had spent her life on psychotropic drugs for severe depression and borderline personality disorder, the same thing that causes multiple personalities. She also became a sex slave for Daryl Smith in a long-term relationship that ended with a child.

Their relationship was everything the weird, late night, HBO documentaries say those things are. She met him after work and groveled at his feet in a leather outfit complete with chain leash and dog collar. She licked his boots clean and said thank you after he spanked her ass. She was a complete, total submissive, and seemed to enjoy being that way. She even changed her last name to his legally, even though he would not marry her. He had told her many times; no matter what she did, she would never be his wife.

Eventually he found another woman he was interested in, Andrea Stranko, and left Morgan and their
daughter. It devasta…

Texas May Have an Innocent Woman on Death Row

Kimberly Cargill is on death row for the killing of her mentally retarded babysitter, Cherry Walker. Ms. Walker was found burned on the side of a rural road in Texas. Doctors had diagnosed her as mentally challenged in 1995, saying she had the living skills of a 9 year old.

Witnesses, some her own family, testified that Cargill was abusive and violent toward them and to Cherry Walker. Cargill was arrested in 2010 on child abuse charges and a custody trial was pending in which Cherry Walker was slated to testify. The state alleged that Kimberly killed Cherry to keep her from testifying.

Kimberly has always said that she did not kill Cherry but that she suffered from a seizure as she was riding in the car with Kimberly. She had been prone to seizures and Kimberly panicked. She tried to revive her, but could not. When she realized Cherry was dead, she set her on fire in an attempt to rid any DNA from her body. She was certain she would be charged with her death.

She was convicted. She wa…