I make myself sick. I really do. I am so not a writer. I am just walking around pretending to be a writer. I say I am going to write this book- HAVE BEEN SAYING IT- for 5 years now , and all Ive managed to do it amass a huge pile of letters, a query letter and a proposal. Oh and a few hundred magazine ans newspaper pieces.
I saw in my local paper that a very local man has written a book- some fantasy-Harry-Potter-Lord-of-the-rings type thing. Hes signing book at Hastings. Well, isnt that nice?
Then my very own husbands cousin is an award winning romance author. What have I done? newspaper mostly and a handful of glossy magazines. Whoop dee do!
I suck.

Sometimes I feel like I sabotage myself. Like Im doing dishes to avoid writing on a subconcious level. Because it always seems like the house is never clean enough to start writing. That doesnt even make sense does it?
Im insane.

I cant even follow my own advice. When asked how to get started writing I always tell people that if you want to be a writer- you have to write. I cant even write. Again, I suck.
Im stuck. I just look at the page and go ...'um...'

I may never get this book published. I am destined to a life of local reporting and occassional features. What happened to my dream of the black and white book jacket with the smart picture of me on the back? I look great in black and white.

Has anyone ever seen that movie The Muse with Sharon Stone? I need one of those.


Letters from Chelsea Richardson and Randy Wood.
Chelsea taked a lot about Cathy Henderson, who is scheduled to be executed very soon.
She explained the clicks in Gatesville prison .
"Me, Kim, Kenisha and Cathy spend all of our time together. We dont mess with the others really at all. And we have all been really busy trying to keep Cathys spirits up and support her right now."


I got a Christmas phone call from Judy Neelley. She said that as a present to herself she'd bought a phone card. She had spent the afternoon calling family and loved ones and had a few minuets left.

We spoke for a bout 10 minuets. She told me about her job as the sound system operator for church services and programs. She said she'd gotten the last package Id sent and that they wen't allowed anymore to get the clothes so I didnt get to send her a sweatshirt or pants.

We talked about my meeting her sister Dottie who isnt very far from me and how"down home" her family is.

She thanked me for everything and promised to write.


Im a little reticent about Lisa Jo Chamberlain. The last letter from Michelle Byrom talks about how Lisa Joo flip flops on her crimes. One minuet shes remorseful and the other shes full of bravado. Michelle may be lying but I dont see the purpose. But if there is one thing I have learned from the crazy antics at the Muncy prison with that looney Michelle Tharp, its that you just never know.
Im treading lightly with Lisa Jo. Ive heard tales of people complaining about how theyve been scammed and taken advantage of by prison inmates. But the fact is- they cant force you to send them things. You either decide to or you dont.


My return letter from Liso Jo Chamberlain. She seems like a very sad and misguided woman. I dont know if she is guilty or not guilty or if she admits her guilty or denies it.
Im not even sure what her charges are. I havent done any research on her case at all. I wrote her back and promised to send her the newsletter .


Remember when I said that I would have that whole Judy Neelley chapter done and turned into Christa a few Sundays ago?
Guess how far I got? You don't want to know. It would shatter your image of me.
Now, now, I don't want you to get the impression that I haven't done anything. I have. I've sent Judy two care packages. One with Christmas cards, ink pens, stickers and teddy bear stationary. She's gotten that one. Also another one- with Christmas stationary, envelopes, colored pencils, a pink and brown striped folder, a composition notebook that matched it and some pink Hello Kitty notebook paper. I'm doing this in hopes that she will take it as a token of our friendship and my appreciation of her letters. I sent her a letter yesterday that reveals my interest in more information for an article or book chapter.
I hope her attitude is favorable.
As far as actually writing, what have I done? I have written an sentence. Actually rewritten the first sentence in the chapter. Yes that's all but it is a perfect sentence. It says what I had to say so much better than what I had. I wonder how I even have written that previous, hacky, piece of written vomit. OK, that's rough but you know what I mean.
I also think I have a pretty fine tipped idea on where I'm going now and how I'm going to say it as perfectly as Ive started.
Rock on! I love when it comes together like that.


Randy Wood's wife was kind enough to send me this photo. He wrote to me last week and told me they had a visit planned. It looks like he was able to enjoy that.
Most of this letter was personal stuff that I dont feel comfortable revealing without his permission and so we'll leave it at that!
Also, Ive been getting a small amount of hate mail over my support of Randy from some freaks. So Ill not be sharing much of his letters until I put an end to that.


Night Stalker Appeals Death Sentence
Lawyer for Night Stalker appeals death sentence, says client wasn't properly defended at trialLOS ANGELES, Jun. 7, 2006By ANDREW GLAZER Associated Press Writer
(AP) Convicted serial killer Richard Ramirez's death sentence in the terrifying 1980s Night Stalker slayings should be overturned because he wasn't properly defended at his trial, an appeals lawyer told the California Supreme Court on Tuesday."This case was the blind leading the blind," said attorney Geraldine S. Russell.Deputy Attorney General Margaret E. Maxwell countered that Ramirez had chosen his own lawyers."Mr. Ramirez made his choice and that should be the end of it," Maxwell said.Historically, judges have intervened when court-appointed attorneys did not adequately represent defendants. Ramirez's appeal will test the Supreme Court's willingness to allow judges to intervene with hired lawyers in capital cases.Addressing the issue of when a trial judge should step in, Justice Carol A. Corrigan asked, "What is it we're supposed to do here? Say, 'Mr. Ramirez, you picked two doofuses as attorneys and you have no right to keep them?'"Maxwell said only in extreme cases should a judge intervene: when a defense attorney is unlicensed, has a physical incapacity, or is unwilling to represent the client. She added flagrant incompetence to the list when questioned by the court.Russell argued that Ramirez's two trial attorneys, who she said had been held in contempt a total of four times before the trial, fit that criteria.Ramirez is on death row at San Quentin and did not attend the hearing.Ramirez, now 46, was sentenced to death in 1989 for committing 13 grisly Los Angeles-area murders in the mid-1980s. He left satanic symbols at some murder scenes and forced some victims to "swear to Satan" after he sneaked through their unlocked windows and doors.Ramirez's lawyers, Daniel Hernandez and Arturo Hernandez, who are not related, were absent for long periods during the trial, Russell said.Arturo Hernandez, still a practicing lawyer in San Jose, told The Associated Press in telephone interview Monday that the Ramirez defense team did its best in a difficult case."They're Monday morning quarterbacking," Hernandez said. "But we did it pro bono. Didn't get a penny. For free, I think we did a hell of a good job."Daniel Hernandez died in 2003.


This is the letter that I received from Cynthia Coffmans Attorney. I got it back in the summer and still havent replied to it. Ive been so ticked off at Cyndi.


Judge sets woman's execution for April 18The Associated PressAUSTIN - A Travis County judge has set an April 18 execution date for a woman condemned more than 10 years ago for the slaying of a 3-month-old child she had been baby-sitting in her home outside Austin.Cathy Lynn Henderson, 49, was convicted of killing Brandon Baugh, whose body was found stuffed in a wine-cooler carton and buried in a field outside Temple, about 50 miles north of Henderson's Pflugerville-area home.Henderson's attorneys asked state District Judge Jon Wisser during a brief hearing Monday to wait until the U.S. Supreme Court has ruled on their appeals. Travis County prosecutors had sought an execution date in February."The date for her execution is inconvenient for her," Eryn Baugh, whose infant son was killed in January 1994, told the Austin American-Statesman on Monday outside court. "The date for her murdering our son was inconvenient for us."Henderson, who has maintained her innocence, was convicted in 1995. Prosecutors said she smashed the child's head with a blunt object while baby-sitting him and his older sister.Henderson fled to her native Missouri. According to testimony at her trial, when she was arrested in Independence, Mo., she told a childhood friend that she had killed someone and wanted to change her identity.FBI agents said Henderson gave several stories about the baby's disappearance before finally saying he fell from her arms while she was answering the phone and hit his head on the floor.A medical examiner, however, testified that that was impossible because of the severity of the child's injuries.In earlier appeals, Henderson's attorneys said the trial court improperly forced her lawyers to turn over maps of where the child was buried. The maps were never used in court and did not play a role in her conviction, the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals ruled in 1997.If the execution is carried out, Henderson will be the fourth woman executed in Texas since the state resumed carrying out the death penalty, in 1982. Since then, 377 men have been put to death.There are 389 inmates, including 10 women, on Death Row in Texas


The first chapter of my book is about Judy Neelley.
I thought it was rather good myself but recently heard from my editor friend who had graciously offered to help me look it over. She said it sucked.
Pretty much just like that, too.
But I guess editors are notoriously cruel and evil. (Im kidding, mostly.)
So Ive decided to spend the rest of the day laboring hard at this chapter. I want to get it completely fabulous and send it back to her by Sunday night.
Can it be done? I hope so. I see all those rabid writers doing that Nanowrimo thing and thats got to be hard.
I can do it!